Worst. Movie. Ever.

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010 @ 12:30 pm | Other

I make it a rule to avoid reading the user comments about our movies on sites like imdb.comAmazon, and YouTube.

This is because I believe that most people who comment on these sites are eleven years old. I also think that the anonymity of the internet allows people to say things they’d never say if they had to use their real names. But mostly I avoid reading them because it’s just too painful.

If you look at the various sites you’ll invariably notice that someone has described every one of our movies as “the worst movie ever made.”

Really? Every single one? The worst? 

Have none of these people seen Crash?

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    25 Responses to “Worst. Movie. Ever.”

    1. markintosh Says:

      Hahahaha! I love your business model, and I am in total agreement on your choice for the worst movie ever made. I want those 2 hours back!

    2. Bobby Says:

      No worries guys! These are the same idiots currently praising “Precious” as the greatest movie ever, so really, their opinions suck, and they are wrong.

      Yes, I have seen “Precious”. Yes, I loathed it. “Crash” also sucked!

    3. Rick Says:

      ‘Crash’ wasn’t that bad, highly overrated (along with ‘Juno’ and ‘Little Miss Sunshine’) but a decent film. But for worst film, it’s too easy to knock on ‘Twilight’, it’s in it’s own category of bad, but there are just so many bad films you really can’t pin down the worst.

      But, one I will knock; ’88 Minutes’, easily one of the worst “thrillers” of the last several years.

    4. Ninja Dixon Says:

      There’s always some retard thinking that every movie they’ve seen is the worst movie ever! Especially on IMDB, which is the main breedingground of idiots.

    5. N Prado Says:

      It is fair to criticize the hyperbolic vitriol that your films attract.

      However, your business model relies on consumer inattention somewhat. The new owner or renter of The Day the Earth Stopped will overreact when his or her expectations are ground into dust. The backlash resembles the trope where a lover learns she or he has been lied to and suddenly “everything you ever told me is a lie!”.

      Another factor is the potentially sheltered film pallete of today’s audiences. With access to one hundred years of film history via netflix, youtube, ect I can only watch the ‘best’ and ‘critically acclaimed’ content for a good long while, perhaps several years. This would give me an unrealistic standard about what constitutes an average movie. In the past, there were three tv channels and more theaters showing B movies. Previous generations dipped their hands in a greater spectrum of quality than your likely critics. So, when a film of lower production values starts rolling, they subjectively sense a much greater disparity than actually exists.

      I admit I haven’t watched any of your films, but I suspect they are average – despite their coat-tail riding impetus – rather than horrible. Instead, I had the dubious pleasure of watching The Zodiac(2006) instead of Zodiac(2007) by one of your competitors. After the initial confusion and disappointment at having selected incorrectly, I watched on. There are more entertaining ways to spend two hours, but it could have been much worse (in terms of actor dynamics or narrative coherence). Probably, Asylum’s offerings share the stigmata of Compromise (with the budget).

      Obviously, your choice for worst movie is clearly limited to ‘mainstream’ productions. It practically shone in comparison to drek like The Garbage Pail Kids and most of the victims of Mystery Science Theater. None of those are the very worst though. Be glad you will never see the foolish, incomprehensible student film that my sister starred in. I have made it my mission to destroy all sixteen copies.

    6. Paul Says:

      Thanks for the very thoughtful comments, N.

      Man, now I really want to distribute the student film your sister starred in…

    7. Sin 3D pero con una Megapiranha « El Otro Cine Says:

      [...] anteriores, lo que muestra la nefasta calidad de estas cintas. Lo peor es que Asylum, es su última publicación, afirma que es injusto que se diga que la calidad de sus películas es baja y que, todos los que se [...]

    8. Ninja Dixon Says:

      By the way, I hope we will be able to see an “Mega shark vs Mega Piranha” sooner or later :)

    9. Osvaldo Neto Says:

      N, sorry for looking a asshole since it’s not my intent to be one, but i think the people who rent or buy ‘The Day the Earth Stopped’ instead of ‘The Day the Earth Stood Still’ or ‘Halloween Night’ instead of ‘Halloween’ must have a great lack of attention for the movies they choose to watch. I don’t know how you rented ‘The Zodiac’ instead of ‘Zodiac’. Did you look at the cover? Read the actors, director credits?

      By the way, these mentioned recent remakes were so shitty i found The Asylum’s offerings better movies.

    10. Scotch Says:

      Here here, Osvaldo! I thought that The Asylum’s Death Racers was a lot more fun than Death Race! Same goes for When A Killer Calls. A far more interesting slasher flick than the remake of When A Stranger Calls. Rock on, Asylum…rock on!

    11. guestar57 Says:

      http://guestar.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/erin-marie-hogan-the-reason-to-watch-paranormal-entity/
      SORT OF…Shameless Plug ! Im the Anti-Negative Critic….

    12. Sci-Fi Gene Says:

      Point well made – they can’t all be the worst, now, can they?

    13. Bobby Says:

      I will state that yes, most of the time I tend to greatly enjoy the Asylum’s works, sometimes, much moreso than their theaterical counterparts, but Death Racers was a huge letdown; although, it should be noted, I don’t care for ICP.

    14. Megatron Says:

      Dear flesh bags,

      I am Megatron… Please don’t make any movies to do with robots that can transform or my Decepticons and I will comes and put my fusion cannon up your ass… THINK OF YOUR OWN IDEAS.

      Thank you your soon to be ruler,
      Megatron

    15. Daniel J. Roos Says:

      I think you’re being unfair to Crash. While it is far less entertaining than the least enjoyable Asylum release, it is still vastly superior to Babel. *Shudder* Babel. Incidentally, Princess of Mars vastly superior to Avatar. Rock on, Asylum!

    16. smejk Says:

      I totally love Asylum movies, D. M. Latt is my favourite producer. I think movies like Terminators, Hitch hiker, snakes on a train and my favourite Invaasion is my favourite sci-fi. And C. thomas Howell is great actor. I watch now Journey to the center to earth and its great sci-fi, i just love dinosaur, spiders and other thinks. I think company Asylum have great future and i gonna watched all movies what i have. Now i want megapiranha:-)

    17. pat Says:

      what megashark vs giant octopus, 100 Million BC, King of the Lost World, Merlin and the War of the Dragons transmorphers all great movies

      my too favorites being Paranormal Entity which scared my family just as good as its inspiration and was every bit as good and The Land That Time Forgot

      monster was indeed up there for worst movie ever but that might be because I had so much hope for it

      I wish there was an asylum on demand chanel on time warner cable I’d probably rent ever movie theres still so many I want to see

    18. fabulous sebastian Says:

      Some of us love your movies and your ideals. Okay, maybe we don’t love all your movies, but at least we get the joke and appreciate your effort. I generally have favourable things to say about you…
      http://dvdpurgatory.blogspot.com/

    19. McHuge Says:

      Megatron – 1) learn to spell. 2) General Zod is already our ruler. Both Transformers movies sucked anyways.

      Asylum keep up the good work!

    20. vxga Says:

      I saw and rewiewed some of your movies and i like sonme of them. It’s 2012: Domsday and Dragonquest (both was very fun to see) and 18-old virgin (god movies, honestly). Also i saw King of the ants and i think it was one of the better movies of Stuart Gordon. So – al least some of your movies are good one.

    21. Thomas Says:

      Are you guys considering coming to the MIP COM or MIP TV in Cannes sooner or later? I’d love to meet you.

    22. Connor Says:

      Ego, much? You need to realize that you’re legacy as a company is embedded in the hearts of eleven year olds, because nobody else would waste time with your terrible films. They were fun when i was eleven though, so thanks for that.

    23. John Says:

      So the whole world that sees through these shitty movies that are total rip offs of Holly Wood Block Busters are all 11 years old? So everyone who dissed the crap movies on IMBD are 11 years old? And Amazon is also ran by kids that are not even teenagers yet?

      Everything you do is going to get an opinion, weather you like it or not.

    24. Angantyr Says:

      No offence, but your movies seem to attract more adolescence than drive them away. Your movies are badly made and appeal to the lowest common denominator, with titles that are similar to big budget films, in the hope that some eleven year old or some imbecile will pick it up thinking it is the ”real deal”, you have (or had) idiots like ”DirectorLeigh” on IMDB trashing anyone who criticizes him or Asylum films and you arrogantly attack those who dislike your films as ”11 year olds”, despite the fact that your films are anti-intellectual, unlike the views of most of your critics. You are a disgrace to independent and low budget film making and your comments here are not only insulting, but are highly ludicrous.

    25. Jason L Says:

      You don’t read these sites, because there is nowhere on Earth, that your films are viewed as anything but crap. It’s like you do it on purpose. The horrible scripts, the bad acting, the rancid effects. NOTHING about your films is well made.

      Call me an eleven year old all you want, but if IMDB, a place where even the worst National Lampoon movies find fans, can’t come up with kind word, you have to suck pretty fierce.

      It is ironic that you use 11 years of age as an insult, as eleven years old is only age range that could possibly enjoy your cinematic dry heaves.

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